VISION

Have you ever desired to have VISION?  Something in your heart, igniting your passion and setting you ablaze with an idea, a thought, a reason to be and to do…A vision that eclipses the laxness and complacency of life.  A vision that never lets you ‘settle’ but propels you forward… I have, and that idea got me to thinking…

 

The thoughts swirl through my head like wisps of smoke.  I struggle to grasp each one, but they slip through my fingers like running water.  At once, I sense that if I could only grasp it, my mind would fill with the elements to complete it.  

Vision. 

Like a cloud in the summer sky, it moves across the line of my sight. Ever changing, taking on a multiplicity of forms, it transcends what my mind can conceive.

Sometimes in the night, I can feel it, just close enough to glimpse it, but not quite close enough to touch.

I desire to see it, in its full form.  This thought compelling its own self forward and becoming something new.  

An innovation.

A new thought to drive me up from my seat and to put movement in my feet.  Propel me forward, into the plan that is for me.  

CLARITY.  

Thanks for listening...

Don't Take IT

I wonder sometimes if we realize that damage that our own words can do in the lives of others, that got me to thinking...

The words drip from the mouth like poison,

"you will never amount to nothin".  They hang in the air like acrid smoke, felt more than heard, like a slap with an open palm.

A word curse in its infancy

"I cant do" is your constant companion.  Such a familiar friend that you almost don't realize that your "friend" is robbing you of your life's opportunities.  Almost, but not quite.  Its still not enough to move you from your complacency.

A word curse in its adolescence

On a certain day, you sit in the aisle, one among many.  The woman walks past briskly looking neither left nor right.  As she passes by you, she tosses something toward you and your hand instinctively reaches up to catch it...

Its a white hanky.  

As your eyes adjust to the bright whiteness in the dim light, you can see that the white has been smeared with blood red lipstick, the words embedded into every fiber of the pure white cotton

"You so...

"DUMB"

"FAT"

"LAZY"

"UGLY"

"TRIFLIN"

"WORTHLESS"...

YOU so, EVERYTHING, 

You so, nothing.

They tell you, that your life will be like this, or your life will be like that..., prophecy hardship to you, and you receive it as though it were some sort of pretty dessert.  

Don't you deserve it anyway?

A word curse all grown up.

The words that have been spoken into existence in your life, have propelled you to this critical moment of decision...

""How long will you allow what the enemy is giving you to bear weight in your life? " 

Like David wearing Solomon's armor, you carry those words with you, heavy like chain mail.  Be reminded that David realized that he could not fight his enemy wearing someone else's clothes.

What do you do when the enemy tosses you anything?

You Don't TAKE IT.

_______________________

You are...

"Smart"

"Beautiful"

"Talented"

"Gifted"

"Worth Loving"
you are, "Loved"

you are, "God's Child".

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Thanks for Listening

Cry Me a River

A few years ago, I spent a lot of time contemplating the impact of tears.  I wrote a blog about it and I want to share it here, now even though my state of mind today is much improved from that time.  But that writing has been on my mind for a while now so here it is for your perusal...

do you ever wonder, when you cry if those tears might be like a river, leaving the scar of their path under your eyes? Today I thought about tears and wondered if the could be counted, how many tears one would cry in a lifetime? Would they fill a small bottle or be so many that if they were put together, they would fill the sea.
I sometimes feel as though I have cried enough tears for fish to swim in.
I thought about the saltiness of tears. How much like an ocean that is.
Have I cried a salty sea?
I wondered to myself how it can be possible that the tracks of my tears do not show on my face when I look at myself in the mirror, and then I thought about how the remnants of tears must be able to be seen.
When you look at me, do I have the trail on my cheeks of the rivers and oceans of tears that try to drown joy out of my life?
When you look in my eyes, can you see the crisscross of red, the thin blood lines that the tears leave in their wake? Do you see the swollenness of my eyes, the brokenness of my heart, the fear in my soul that someday my tears will overflow their banks and leave a flooded wasteland, the only thing left of what was once dry land?
When I think about these tears, these devastating tears, I hope that what the river destroys can be dried and revived. That the tears wont leave my eyes with nothing else to see or believe except that tears come...often. I hope that once the flood waters have receded, the scars in my cheeks from the barrage of tears wont be the only thing left of me.

Even though weeping endures for a night, joy does come in the morning.  Thank you God.

Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy.

thanks for listening

I want to Change

I was driving to work today listening to a great album.  One particular song caught my fancy with the pleading refrain "I want to Change".  it got me to thinking...

Do I really want change?
And how do I identify that desire within myself?
Is it by how powerfully I can sing the refrain of a song?  How heartfelt the chorus.  Is it in my passionate calling out to the Lord, my desperate plea in the moment, the plaintive cry, so fervent...
"Lord, I want to Change".

We have all heard by now that 2011 is the year of "Transition and Change".  An interesting, and somewhat intimidating (something) to ponder.  Are we ready for change?
I wonder how do we prepare ourselves for the change?  
Perhaps we need to spend some more time in prayer, seeking the face of God for our path, and listening for his answers.
Or maybe (and in addition to that) we need to do some research on a subject,
Maybe we need to take a class,
Learn a new language,
Open a new bank account,
Open the door to allow something new to enter,
Open our hand and let go of the thing we have been holding so dear in fear if we let it go, it may not come back,
Open our hearts to receive the transition and the change that the Lord has for us...

In the book of Ezekiel chapter 2, the Lord gave Ezekiel a charge, to go to the people of Israel and give them a Word from the Lord.  He said that it didn't matter whether they would listen or not, whether they would be obedient or not, what mattered was that they heard that Word.
When the Lord speaks the change into your life, will you be ready to receive it?
I pray that I will...

thanks for listening.

The Root is the Problem

I know, I know, I am on a roll today,
but i was Talking to a lady last evening... I could see the tree she was carrying in my minds eye...got me to thinking....

When you were small, it was no problem to carry you.
Like a tiny infant I cradled you in my arms.
I protected you fiercely, believing that you were there by rights.
I nurtured you and fed you, and watched you grow.
I coddled you like a tender plant, fertilized you with my tears and with my words.
And I hid you away from the world, for fear that if seen, someone would try to get me to leave you behind.

As a teen, i felt that you became slightly unruly, a little unweildy to carry.
But I could not put you down, you still needed me (or was it the other way around.)
You kept growing, getting fat on the meat of my fears, my upsets...my drama
You often tried to show yourself, I tried to press you back, but you wanted to be seen more and more. 
You began to whisper into my ears and into my mind, telling me that I need you, that you are the only one for me, that you will never leave me
People can see you when I walk by now, just behind my eyes, like a suspicious glance (or maybe something even worse)
I am so tired, I want to put you down, you are much too big for me to carry now, but our lives are intertwined, our souls bound together in an unholy dance

Why should you go now, when we have spent our lives together, I saw you when you were born and worked so hard to grow you up big and strong. Never realizing that in the end, your goal would be my life.
I struggle to release you, but your grasp holds me fast, we are locked in a death grip, you and I.
One of us will have to die...and its going to have to be you.
In Jesus Name.

Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Its better never to carry the seed of bitterness that springs up into a tall tree. Forgive, that ye mav be forgiven. All that drama, is not worth your soul.

Thanks for listening.

Thoughts

I wrote this yesterday after church, I was inspired by the move of the Lord in the service. 

I met a woman today, who's story seemed to represent the image of who I used to be, it got me to thinking....

Its in the mind, in the heart...
Exalting itself against the knowledge:
The thought, the condemnation that attempts to strangle you with its icy claws.
The thought, the writhing chains of self loathing hang on for dear life in their attempt to hold you bound.
The thought, the burden that you carry cannot be removed, it has strapped itself to you with the permanence of death.
Your delusion shows in the lines of your face, in the slump of your shoulders, and the wave of your hand (like a wraith flitting from here to there) attempting to push away the web of confusion.  It cannot be pushed, it is like a rock, no a mountain that will not be removed easily.
The words spoken, "I cannot be free"

His presence fills the room like a deluge, crushing and covering everything in it's path.  Nothing can stand before His presence.
High things, are buried under the weight of His glory.  Even the hidden things, {the squinches and the peepholes}- are left bare before Him.

The thought, Jesus is the answer...

It might not be easy to walk away and leave it there, the thing that you have carried so long and with such...tenacity. Wearing it proudly, like a brooch made of something that once was alive, but now is dead and stinking.
But there is that possibility, the hope, now seen as never before, you Could leave it, if you choose to.
Its your choice.
The thought, ...

And at the name of Jesus...
Death is swallowed up in Victory

Thanks for listening.

The beginning

I want to write, its always been an aspiration of mine. In jr high school, my best friend and I wrote a lot of plays, thank God no one ever had the opportunity to read them, they were pretty bad. LOL.
What I love is to weave a story, animate the inanimate,  and give life to those things that otherwise be and remain lifeless.  My goal, is to do for you what the stories that I read as a child did for me.  To take you to a place in your mind, where the world falls away, and the story takes over, and to help you to see what I saw when I wrote it. 
So, here I am, starting this blog, to share with you the tales that come from the heart and from the mind.  Yesterday, I believed that I was not an artistic person, but today, I am ready for real, to let my muse get her butt in gear!
Here we go...